National calorie-free day

As it’s my birthday tomorrow, I’m officially declaring June 4^th a national calorie-free day.  However, this day is subject to change according to the individual at hand.   The only rule is that all food consumed on your birthday must be without an ounce of guilt.  Trust me, the mind and metabolism have an unspoken agreement.  Birthdays come around once a year so it’s ok to relax and just enjoy it fully.  Life’s too short to deprive yourself on such occasions…just make sure it doesn’t carry on for the rest of the year.

In this regard, there tends to be so many other instances which we delude ourselves into believing that they are calorie-free.  Do any of the following sound familiar?:

• OTHER PEOPLE’S FOOD: A chocolate mousse that you did not order has no calories. Therefore, it’  Similarly food licked off knives, forks, etc. doesn’t count if you’re in the process of making something else, like a peanut butter sandwich or an ice cream sundae.
• INGREDIENTS IN COOKING: Chocolate chips are fattening, about 50 calories a tablespoon. So are chocolate chip cookies! However, chocolate chip eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever.
• ANYTHING SMALLER THAN ONE INCH:
   chocolate kisses & cubes of cheese contain no calories
• ‘PRASAD’ AND ALL OTHER FOODS EATEN FOR RELIGIOUS PURPOSES: Surely God doesn’t want you to put on weight!!
• ANYTHING RUNNY: Sauces and gravy can’t hold on to the calories- they all leak out!
• ALCOHOL-RELATED CONSUMPTION: By eating when you’re drunk/hungover, you are actually doing your body a favour…it’ll help soak up the alcohol right??
• FOOD FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES: Food used for medicinal purposes never counts. This includes hot chocolate, malted milk, toast with lashings of butter
• FOOD ON TOOTHPICKS: Sausages, cocktail franks, cheese and the like are all fattening unless impaled on frilled toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out the bottom.
• CALORIES VARY PER SITTING: The calories listed per serving on packages applies to YOUR serving size, regardless of how big it is, as long as you eat it in one sitting.

While most of those above are slightly far-fetched and hopeful, I remain a strong advocate of birthdays being calorie-free.  It’s the one time of the year where you actually can ‘have your cake and eat it too’…and I most certainly plan on doing so.  On that note, as soon as it hits June 4^th (or whatever date your birthday is), fill up your plate and start eating…and if not, pass on your share  :).