Dear Fellow Gym-Goers

by Khushboo on January 25, 2012

I love my gym!  It’s not the biggest of gyms but I wouldn’t think to switch ever (despite my threats when they tried to raise my membership fee ;) ).  It’s well-equipped and more importantly  a mere 8-minute walk away from my place.

As I am quite the regular, I tend to see quite a few same faces day in and day out.  Even though I’m plugged into my iPod most of the time, the familiarity arouses a sense of warmth.  There are some members who I want to say something to but don’t.  I am not a qualified trainer but over the years I’ve made workout mistakes, learned from them, and would love to help others avoid making the same errors.  If minding my own business wasn’t an issue, here’s what I would say to some of them:

Dear Lady who loves the arc trainer,

Stop using the same machine day in and day out.  Whether you’re trying to improve your fitness or lose weight, you need to keep challenging your body.  If you want to get scientific about it, Google the SAID Principle.  On a separate note, please stop hogging the machine when you can see others are waiting for it: there’s a 30-minute max rule for a reason, buddy!

Dear Lady who was running at the far left treadmill this morning,

Even though you have plenty of weight to lose, way to go on showing up almost every morning!  I was you at once upon a time and I promise you will reach your goals if you continue sticking to it!

Dear Personal Trainer who is absolutely ripped,

I know you’ve worked hard for your body but that attitude has got to go, as does that arrogant smile.  And protein shakes aren’t the cure for everything. That is all.

Dear European Girl,

I get the feeling my accent makes you feel at home.  The feeling is mutual, so next time let’s exchange more than just a smile.

Dear Lady with an overly-endowed chest,

Wear a bra!

Dear Everyone who holds onto the treadmill railings:

It’s a terrible habit that reduces the training effects of your workout.  You’re worsening your posture and reducing your weight load.  If you need to hold on, you’re obviously going too fast so lower you speed or incline instead!

Dear Lady who is squatting more than most of the men,

You’re an inspiration!

Dear Guy with big arms and gorgeous eyes,

You’re one of the few Indian men I’ve seen with grayish/green eyes.  Whether they’re contacts or natural, I’m sorry if you’ve ever caught me staring into them.  Stay pretty.

Dear Lady lifting the 2.5 lb dumbbells,

We both know you can lift heavier.  Rather than doing 20 reps, increase your weights so that you’re fatigued after 12 reps.  We girls don’t have enough testosterone to bulk up Schwarzenegger-style.  If you want to see results and speed up your metabolism, you really need to shock and stress the muscle i.e. lift heavy.

Dear Man who hopped on the treadmill next to me the other day,

There are 5 free treadmills: why do you have to come to the one right next to me?  I don’t think I would have so much of an issue about it if your excessive use of cologne didn’t suffocate me!

If decency wasn’t an issue, what would you say to fellow gym members?

{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }

Nada (One Arab Vegan) January 25, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hahaha I love this. Your posts always make me laugh Khushboo! I’ve wanted to speak up to fellow gym members a lot as well but of course I always bite my tongue. The cologne one is the WORST – but not as bad as guys with BO. I get you’re at a gym and you’re going to sweat, but use an antiperspirant or something!

My top one atm would be:

Dear beefy rugby players at the uni gym,
Stop hogging the benches. We get it, you’re ripped. You don’t have to spend an additional 5 minutes admiring your ‘ceps in the mirror.

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:38 am

I am going to regret admitting this in public but I smell pretty rank by the end of a workout…haha wonder what the other members must think! And we have bench hoggers too..I ask them to pls get up if they’re done with the set!

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Katelyn January 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

This post cracked me up!! too funny!!!

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Jenn January 25, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Great post!

I actually make an effort to talk to people at the gym for just these reasons. It doesn’t need to be more than just saying good morning or have a good workout. I find it creates a friendly and warm environment.

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:39 am

I’d like you to be a member in my gym :)

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Julia January 25, 2012 at 7:56 pm

This post is awesome. Love it. Here’s what else I would say:

Dear ripped guy who lives at the gym, do you not realize that we can totally tell that you keep staring and admiring yourself in the mirror every ten seconds? Get over yourself!

Dear skinny anorexic girl on the treadmill for hours,

Skin and bones is not hot. Go pump some iron.

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:39 am

Strong is the new sexy right :)

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Alexandra January 25, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Hahaha loved this! And that picture about not making eye contact while using that machine is priceless! :D

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:39 am

Haha I know right…I had to find some way to use it!

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forgottenbeast January 25, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Ohh, I’d be speaking up to the over-cologne-ers and the over-perfume-ers all the time! ESPECIALLY if they’re next to me on a machine. Gag–I’d like some air while I work out. And those ladies with the tiny dumbbells, c’mon gals, we can be strong too!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:40 am

I’ve sussed out the members guilty of cologne overuse and abuse…I am going to keep my distance!

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forgottenbeast January 26, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I go to a big gym, and I still recognize and avoid those folks too, haha. Only a problem when machine availability is limited…or, like you, when they come in after and end up next to you. Argh, it’s the gym, smell like a human being–it’s okay!

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Snapshots of Happiness January 25, 2012 at 8:29 pm

This post just cracked me up! :) If I could, I would say:

Dear Guy who tries too hard in Body Pump,
This is not a weight lifting competition. Lower your weight so you can make it past 4 reps. :)

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:40 am

Haha I dread to imagine his form!

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Purvi Verma Saini (@PurviVermaSaini) January 25, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I go to the gym in my building and this is what I have to day to a particular lady:

Dear lady please do not bring your little kid to the gym ( he switched off the treadmill while I was running), and also please do not yell at him at the top of your shrill voice. Son will break my body parts and mother will shatter my ear drums

thats about it as generally I go to the gym when working women are off to their offices and mothers are relaxing at home after dropping their kids to school :) :) and I like being alone in there :) :)

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:41 am

When I wasn’t working and just moved to India, I used to go to the gym after breakfast around 11.30 am..I miss the days of having the gym to myself!

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Parita @ myinnershakti January 25, 2012 at 9:01 pm

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! I’m seriously cracking up at my desk right now!

And I think you should do a vlog so we can all hear your accent!

And I would like to tell fellow fitness class participants to not stand too close to me. It’s annoying and makes me uncomfortable. Thank you!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:42 am

Haha glad you enjoyed it! I would love to do a vlog but I am convinced I sound like a man..hearing my own voice playback makes me cringe!

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Kiran @ KiranTarun.com January 25, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I don’t really go to the gym — sad face!

But this post definitely cracked me up!! Too good :D I also enjoyed reading everyone’s comment!!!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:42 am

Glad u enjoyed it…and that everyone else has their own pet peeves!

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Tessa@AmazingAsset January 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Ha this is a fun post! I never understand why people grab the machine right next to you when there are others available! I always give them the dirtiest look ever lol
Oops did I just admit that? :)

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:43 am

I wish I could see it as a sign of flattery but all I see is them cramping my style!

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Meg (A Dash of Meg) January 25, 2012 at 10:09 pm

hahahahahaha ooooooooookayyyyyyyyyyyy girl I think this is your best post yet??????? love love love. I was laughing the whole time.

Seriously, my mind is making comments at people the entire time while I am at the gym…… some people are just so clueless!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:44 am

Haha so glad you enjoyed it..I was a bit hesitant to bring out my ‘bitchy’ side :D

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Sarah January 25, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Haha! Ditto about the well-endowed women, I just want to buy armfuls of sports bras and chuck them at people sometimes, it’s really offputting!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:44 am

All I’m wondering is that without the bra, running must be hella painful!

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Prathiba @ Vehemently Vegan January 25, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Ahahaha this post is hilarious!! and so spot-on. now i am wondering what people are thinking of me at the gym. haha.

great post!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:45 am

Thanks!

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honeywhatscooking January 25, 2012 at 10:50 pm

haha.. i absolutely love this one Khushboo. So funny! the last one was too funny, omg, that happens to me too. It’s so annoying where there are 5 others free. Maybe he likes you? OMG, do you have a British accent? so you lived in Nigeria, England, India? where else? you’re so lucky, I can do a fake Brit. Yes, I love green eyes.. it’s nice to see. omg.. one time i went for a Masala Bhangara workout at my gym, and this Indian girl stunk like there was no tomorrow, totally did not use deodorant. I literally left after 20 minutes cause I just could not take the smell.

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:46 am

I think I have a fusion accent…a mix of American/English and apparently the one off Indian twinges (or so my friends/family abroad claim)! I went to an American International school all my life, hence the American accent!

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honeywhatscooking January 26, 2012 at 10:19 pm

oooh.. I went to Indian Lang School in Nigeria till the age of 9. Then I moved here and have an American accent. So in Nigeria you went to an American school as well?
That’s so hot – a combo of Brit and American. :-)

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Tracy's Treats January 26, 2012 at 6:57 am

Hahhaa I love this! It’s so funny, there are so many things I’d like to say to people at the gym. The worst one: Dear guy next to me, please stop farting, you’re ruining my workout!

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Khushboo Thadani January 26, 2012 at 11:45 am

Ahhh no I think you win…that’s just repulsive!

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Sig January 26, 2012 at 11:36 am

Hahaha…screw the decency, I’d be very tempted to actually say this to people!!! :P

I’d probably say to all the girls (bar a few) at the gym – get off the cardio machines and go pump some weights! They’re not scary!!

Also, to the only other Indian in the gym – just because we share the same skin colour does not mean you come and FOLLOW me on EVERY single machine/weights area. True story – faaaark that was annoying :P

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Gayatri January 27, 2012 at 1:13 am

“Dear Lady with an overly-endowed chest, Wear a bra!” – LMAO!

My gym is tiny mainly because it’s on the top floor of my building so it’s for residents only. So we don’t have personal trainers and stuff. But we definitely have lots of hot, ripped women who think they’re all that. To them I’d like to say, “Love your legs, but that’s about it!”

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Khushboo Thadani January 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Hahaha at least you’re not entirely hatin ;) !

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Brittany January 27, 2012 at 7:56 am

Ohh this post was amazing. I especially loved the bra statement and the personal trainer statement..SO TRUE. My main comment would be for the girls that show up at the gym wearing their UGG boots and 10lbs of makeup..We are here to workout not walk a runway..wash your face and get sweaty like the rest of us!

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Khushboo Thadani January 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Seriously..if you’re still looking pretty by the end of your workout, something ain’t right!

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Alexiasana January 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

i love your writing style, it makes me smile so so much! def cheers up my day!
I am not a gym member, but i go to different yoga studios often and practice and teach with all kinds of people. its crazy, people can be so stubborn and about the looks and aboutwhat the person next to them does etc. its so important to focus yourself and listen to your body! other than that i run outside and often see runners in vienna that SPEED around in the city as if they would run away from something. quite funny.

dear speedos, i know you like to show me how fast you can run and i also know that it helps you to get rid of all the anger you have built up during your work week. but PLEASE take care of yourself and train your metabolism RIGHT, with a low heart rate. that reduces stress more.

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decibelbelownormal January 27, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Haha I love these! I would tell the ripped thirty-something bald guy in my gym to wear something other than t-shirts that could only have been made to fit a 7 year old boy!

On another note: Where I go there’s a lady in her sixties who has lost an awful lot of weight by walking on the treadmill. Unfortunately she has it on a ridiculously high setting, so much so that she has to walk holding onto the handlebars in front of her for for dear life. I seriously dread to think what would happen if she let go. To make it worse other gym goers have started copying her!!! My friend who runs the gym has repeatedly told her to stop as it’s not only dangerous but it’s also not the proper way to exercise – problem is she’s the owners wife…

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Maneka January 30, 2012 at 9:35 pm

This post really made me laugh! :) Running outdoors I would definitely tell that man to invest in a pair of sweats rather than his mega-tight jeans!

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